Instead I plan a sophisticated engagement party, where my bulge is less of a hindrance. I imagine myself wafting on a cloud of second-trimester radiance, with a bump so small that I still look slinky in a cocktail dress. Reality, however, decides not to coincide with my vision, and rather than looking pregnant, I look stout. I’ve always been tall and skinny – even puberty didn’t do much to disrupt my silhouette (bras are decoration rather than a source of support), so for the first time in my life my figure is changing, and it’s slightly bewildering. My skin has also rebelled and the only thing about me that glows is the spot on my forehead.
Lucky for me there’s a host of experts to help me to make the most of my pregnancy. Older mothers have more disposable income and there is no shortage of companies to help them to spend it. According to the Office for National Statistics, the fertility rate of women aged between 30 and 34 overtook that of women aged 25 to 29 for the first time in 2004. And for every year older a mother is, the more she earns. I am pointed in the direction of babyplanners.co.uk, a new company that aims to help mums-to-be to face the complexities of pregnancy while working full time.
When I tell friends that I am having the baby bump “showing” package, which includes an at-home styling session, bra-fitting consultation, plus a treatment (I choose a facial and makeover) for £250, their reaction is mixed. Some think it’s a great idea and want to sign up; others think it’s commodifying a part of life that should be left uncommercialised. I’m not sure. Anything that offers pampering and constructive advice is good in my book, but I don’t like the idea of commercially exploiting something as natural as pregnancy.
The generation gap and geographical divide between us older mums and our parents means that we turn to countless books for advice, treat friends who have had children like the oracle and go online to consult the numerous forums.
This lack of knowledge and confidence makes older mums and babies a good target for new businesses aimed at the baby buck.
A Google search for pregnancy and baby services brings up 175,000,000 results, and includes everything from baby massage courses and nappy laundry services to baby-shower lists, where parents-to-be draw up a present list, similar to a wedding list. The appallingly named babeswithbabies.co.uk offers a “breastfeeding love bracelet”, which a new mum puts on the relevant wrist to remind her which breast her baby last fed from. Burberry has launched a perfume for babies, Baby Touch, a mix of citrus aromas, rhubarb and vanilla; a snip at £30 for 100ml. A recent report by the German Textiles Retailers’ Association puts the luxury market for children’s goods at £10 billion worldwide and predicts that it will double in five years.
But can’t most mothers-to-be work out what is useful and what is overindulgent frippery? Breastfeeding bracelets probably fall into the latter category, whereas nappy-laundering services have their place. But I’ve discovered that not all decisions are so instinctive. Biodegradable disposable nappies or reusable? An expensive four-wheel drive pushchair or a bog-standard buggy? Although there are websites to help you to evaluate these expensive investments, you are making so many decisions at once that it’s difficult to find time to research them all, particularly when you work full time. That’s when the likes of babyplanners.co.uk come into their own. “We’re offering help and support for new parents,” says Keeley Paice, the company’s founder. “Our constant research means that we have the inside track on the best products and services. Everything is tried and tested. The aim is to introduce people to independent products that we’ve tried on our own kids.” Its “babyplans”, which offer advice on what to buy from where, what to avoid, plus information on everything from where you can exercise locally to pregnancy support groups in your area, aren’t cheap, starting at £400.
However, for Aalia Walker, 33, a communications manager in West London, it was a godsend. “I thought that buying the kit was the fun part, but I became anxious and overwhelmed by it all.” Car seats, Moses baskets, cots, Grobags, baby wipes, nappies, bath thermometers . . . it’s not all cute outfits and cuddly toys. Walker feels that the babyplan has saved her not only time and stress but also money. “I was looking at buggies and Keeley suggested buying one with a single handle as it means that I can hold the hand of another child when I have a second baby. I would never have thought of that and it also means that I won’t have to buy a new buggy if I do have another baby.”
My own experience was probably rather more frivolous but great fun. I’ve asked babyplanners for advice on clothes for the “bump” and bras. At my home I’m shown lots of stylish and reasonably priced outfits by the designer Moni (forty-weeks.co.uk) that accommodate the “bump” and work well postbaby, allowing me to breastfeed easily.
The bra-fitting is equally helpful, and I’m given advice on what to look for from a maternity bra by Bih Wong, a bra-fitter with ten years’ experience at Marks & Spencer. She recommends no underwiring as it can affect the development of milk ducts, and to go for a style that has several sets of hooks, which allows for the broadening of the ribcage. Her favourite line is Emily B (emily-b.co.uk); the bras have six sets of hooks so can grow with you, and you don’t have to keep investing in new underwear.
Then a facial with some useful pregnancy skincare advice from Susan Patterson-Smith from Return to Glory (returntoglory.co.uk). I can’t claim that the makeover saved me money or time, but it did mean that I managed to look slinky rather than stout for my engagement party.
Do’s and don’ts for mums
Do buy maternity wear as soon as you start turning the house upside down for safety pins. The earlier you buy, the more use you’ll get out of it.
Do invest in a bra that makes you feel good. And if you don’t mind clips, invest in a pretty feeding bra: there’s a chance you’ll get back into it once breastfeeding is established.
Don’t get stressed about booking antenatal classes before you’ve conceived. There are some great private classes now in addition to the NCT network and your NHS classes may do the job
Don’t buy an expensive change bag if you’re the kind of girl who swaps handbags every other day. A nice washbag that you can put in different bags is a safer bet.
Don’t be panicked into buying things. If you find you need something further down the line, you can get it then. The shops won’t shut once you’ve given birth.
KEELY PAICE www.babyplanners.co.uk